part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
