Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
