why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
