he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
