We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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