You just made me feel so damn special
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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