so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Found the puke drawer
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
