Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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