after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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