I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Pooping to opera.
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