my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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