dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She bit a glass in half.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
