How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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