Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
