Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize