blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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