yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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