NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
