You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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