I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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