yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
