I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize