During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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