Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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