Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she told me i tasted like america
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
