is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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