I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
