Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
