I can tuck mytits in my pants
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
