the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
