did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
