just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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