thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
