he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
