you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
