I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
