It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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