the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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