Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
