Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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