Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize