.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
