Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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