I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
