the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
