No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
