why didn't you poke me back
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
