So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you had me at cake vodka
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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