just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
