She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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