Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
