i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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