I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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