Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
