Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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