Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
