she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
