His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
