Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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