but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ttyl tear gas
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
