its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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