he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
