whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize