We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
