officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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