I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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