Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
