So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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