Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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