Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
