No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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